Time: 10:02pm
Date: 25th October 2009
You know when you look at someone and your whole world stops, I get that with you. You know when you have the worst day in the entire world but you look a text someone as text you and a smile instantly forms on your face, I get that from you. I get absolutely everything from you. I actually really don't know how I lived before you came into my life. I actually don't think I was living. You walked into my life and everything clicked. Sure there are times where I feel down and you can't pick me back up, but eventually I end up turning back to you and you're still there waiting for me, waiting for the moment where I've picked myself back up, all the pieces and you're waiting with the glue to finally fix everything, and put everything back into the right place.
I'm currently sitting in my cinema room writing this blog. I've got the television on for background sound, and the xfactor results show has just gone off. I don't care about anything. Anything other than you. Experiencing love whilst you are in and experiencing the love while you aren't in are two different things. The reasons that I love someone change daily; but the underlying thing is always still there. The actual emotion is still there. The love is still there. It actually never goes away in fact. I know that it never will go away.
These past two/three months have been such a rollercoaster with me. I've hated, I've loved, I've felt emotionless. I've cursed your name like no other. I've lied, mainly to myself, but I've lied all the same. I kid myself all the time. I pretend. But after all that I still love. Nothing will ever change that.
Life seems to be moving so quickly of late, so many things happening and changing. I'm not changing, just the things going on around me. All I'm simply doing is adapting to those changes. I have to set so many things into perspective, and just because you may not be number one now doesn't mean that I don't love you. I love you the most its just that sometimes you have to be on the back burner whilst I sort my life out, because I don't want my life to be a complete mess when you walk into it properly.
Turning eighteen is huge step that is actually happening in eighteen days. It doesn't scare me, I'm waiting to embrace it. I'm excited to be embrace it, but it's made me realise something. I'm growing up. Going out there and seeing the world on my own. And though you may not be by my side now, I know you're just lurking in the shadows waiting for the right time to step out into the spotlight and scoop me up. And when that time comes I know I'll be prepared, I'll be ready, I'll fall into you 100%. And you want to know why, because I'll be ready.
Jump and fall into me.
-L-
Media:
Gather research (done)
Make a summary of my research (done)
Draft one of essay
History:
Gather research (done)
Essay plan
Gather research (done)
Make a summary of my research (done)
Draft one of essay
History:
Gather research (done)
Essay plan
I'm backkkkkkk! Sosososososo SO excited to be blogging. I need this stress relief. I'm on half term from college right now and of course I'm up to my eyeballs in work. Here's the list that I need to do:
Media:
Gather research (done)
Make a summary of my research
Draft one of essay
History:
Gather research (done)
Essay plan
Okay I suppose when you look at it that way I haven't really got that much to do but when you put it into practice I have so much work left to do. I just really wish that I was back in primary school again because when you have actual school holidays you can have fun. Now its all about locking yourself away to work and work some more. I need to try and find a happy medium with this because if I don't do it now when it comes to university I'm going to have such a sucky three years.
UCAS. Almost finished, just need to add a few things that I forgot last time and then the next three years of my life is gonna be in the hands of someone else - scary stuff.
Next week, party. Today I learnt something new, something that made my stomach turn over with excitement. I have a party next week which has been made ten thousand times better because of a certain person going. I'm excited. I'm going to speak some truths. Actions speaks louder than words.
Oh and its my birthday in 20 days, just thought I'd throw that out there ;)
-L-
Media:
Gather research (done)
Make a summary of my research
Draft one of essay
History:
Gather research (done)
Essay plan
Okay I suppose when you look at it that way I haven't really got that much to do but when you put it into practice I have so much work left to do. I just really wish that I was back in primary school again because when you have actual school holidays you can have fun. Now its all about locking yourself away to work and work some more. I need to try and find a happy medium with this because if I don't do it now when it comes to university I'm going to have such a sucky three years.
UCAS. Almost finished, just need to add a few things that I forgot last time and then the next three years of my life is gonna be in the hands of someone else - scary stuff.
Next week, party. Today I learnt something new, something that made my stomach turn over with excitement. I have a party next week which has been made ten thousand times better because of a certain person going. I'm excited. I'm going to speak some truths. Actions speaks louder than words.
Oh and its my birthday in 20 days, just thought I'd throw that out there ;)
-L-
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